It’s been almost two months since I graduated, and three since the last days of class. You might just so casually and reflexively ask, what have you been up to or busy with?

Prior to writing this was a quick, two minute, ‘conversation’ with a friend(*) that ended because of her summer school final exams being two weeks away. After which, I couldn’t say I came to some sort of realization because it’s been gnawing at my ankles since that last day of class: That I haven’t done a single thing.

Someone will interject with platitudes, which may actually be the whole point of keeping a blog, but I think not just writing (or drawing, or sketching, or making) something, but releasing it outside of your control or oversight is what makes it more real and tangible, somehow.

Between working at and quitting a crappy waitering job, losing my self in physical exhaustion (working out) and some half hearted attempts at continuing education it’s really been a life of white noise. I’ve been standing still where everyone else moves forwards. But I don’t want to live things or end things sour – like writing this first post, the first step is always the hardest and heaviest. I’ll just have to lift my head up, grit my teeth into a smile facsimile and just take it.

And maybe, suddenly, when I’m all done, everything will just flood right out.

* Not really a friend, I think.

Thinking out loud //