First shot sends a shiver down my spine. Second rifle shot I don’t know. If not for the slivers of light allowed to pass through this make-shift blindfold it may as well already be over. As they dance across my face, I may as well be already dead, and yet, I find a strange comfort in this, as if to say that nothing on this earth matters and neither do I. That I can find rest not in this life, but in the faith I believe and the way I’ve lived and will die is the only solace I neither cling to or hope for, but know.

BANG.
How many has it been? Three? or was it four? Where did they put me on the line? The last thing I remember, the last thing I saw, was the fate of the previous group. Surrounded by people I don’t know, dying with someone’s sweat stained bandage over my head, my hands tied up, my knees sunk in the hot sand.. maybe I made some mistakes, but maybe there is a perfect fate for all of us? It wouldn’t be an easy thing to find regardless. More likely, I’m just full of shit.

BANG.
Speaking of shit.. the next guy down the line has decided dignity carries too high a price. I suppose it doesn’t matter really though. I’ll tell myself it could be worse, but is that even true anymore? The next shot hasn’t come yet, I think I’m fidgeting – my mind certainly is. What’s taking them so long? Wait.. what am I saying? How many people were in our group again? I can’t tap with my tied up feet, scratch my head, itch my nose or any of those other stupid habits humans accumulate like treasures. It’s driving me insane. I can’t think anymore! I want my mind to just be silent. Let me just die before the bullet comes! So much for solace, so much for beliefs, rebellion, dreams..

BANG.
Let me live! PLEASE!! Let me breath the air once again! Let me bed drunken Maria from the bar, scorch under the midday sun, let me do all those little things I thought were nothing until now! Whose next? I only hear the shots getting closer one after the other..

BANG.
BANG.
I’M SORRY, I’M SORRY! PLEASE DON’T KILL ME, I’LL TELL YOU EVERYTHING I KNOW! I’LL DO ANYTHING YOU WANT!
I know these aren’t thoughts anymore, that I’m crying these things out with all I have, and that most of all I mean them more than anything I’ve ever meant before.
PLEASE!!

One last bang. Strange. This one doesn’t seem as loud as the others, I don’t hurt or feel. But those slivers of light, my hope, are gone now. I must truly be dead.

Fiction //